The most subtle form of domestic violence: Financial Abuse
#isolation and being stuck at home, my personal challenges (outside of work) include home-schooling my 6 year old daughter, being 4 months pregnant and eating everything in the fridge and my most extreme challenge: slow internet interrupting my binge watching of The Handmaid’s Tale. Season 2, episode 8 just reminded me of the importance of bringing this topic to light, with this quote: “"Someone once said, 'Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.'”. That someone, is Margaret Atwood, the author of The Handmaid’s Tale and in the current pandemic, her words have an eery ring of truth.
Despite growing awareness of domestic and family violence in recent years, prevalence rates remain high. According the Mission Australia’s website, domestic and family violence is one of the top reasons people seek support from specialist homelessness services¹.
This is exacerbated in the current pandemic and being at home, stuck with an abusive partner, may be the scariest possible situation for many women and their families.
Every week one woman is killed as a result of domestic violence, while one man a month is killed by a partner or former partner, so it’s not surprising that 75% of victim-survivors of domestic and family violence reported the perpetrator as male, compared with 25% reporting the perpetrator as female².
This threat to their safety means many women and their children are forced to leave their homes, often with nowhere to go.
Most of the statistics I could find on domestic abuse was around physical abuse – violence against a partner, to control them or threaten them, coercing them into a certain behaviour.
A much more subtle way of controlling a partner is financial or economic abuse, where your partner controls your access to money or resources, to diminish your capacity to support yourself, thereby making you dependant on them.
Financial abuse includes:
someone taking complete control of finances and money
restricting access to bank accounts
providing an inadequate allowance and monitoring what their partner spends money on
forbidding a partner to work
taking a partner’s pay and not allowing them to access it
preventing them from getting to work by taking their keys or car
identity theft to secure credit
using their credit card without their permission
refusing to work or contribute to household expenses
Speaking with Trish Bramble, GM of the Manly Warringah Women’s Resource Centre on this topic, she said that financial abuse is much more common than reported and is so widespread that she has seen it in almost every case at the centre, in one form or another.
“The most common is partners limiting access to money – if she doesn’t have any cash or access to funds, she can’t leave her abusive husband and he controls her that much more”. She cites examples of the Centre having to pay the taxi fare of women who have arrived at the Centre with no funds at all. She added that, “in many cases, they also don’t have simple identification documents like birth certificates or Medicare cards, because their partner keeps these important documents – these are all needed to apply for Government or Family benefits, so we really have to start from the ground up in order to get them financial help”.
I’ve seen this control and abuse first-hand when a close friend and client of mine called me in tears a few years ago. She said that when she logged into her bank account to pay some bills, she noticed that $120,000 of available redraw in their home loan was transferred out of their joint account. When she called the bank, thinking it was identity theft or fraud, she was told that her husband made the withdrawal and transferred funds to an external bank account. The account didn’t require both of them to authorise transfers or transactions, so she was left powerless and $120,000 extra in debt.
Trish said that this is very common and one of the reasons they offer debt counsellors to help women who feel trapped in such situations. She said that in many domestic violence cases debt can be wiped, or repayments negotiated. She said that women should seek advice as they have options open to them, even when they believe they have none.
The centre offers short term refuge centres on the Northern Beaches and Lower North Shore, where women and their family can stay for up to 3 months, while other arrangements are made. Furthermore, they have Family Support Services where they offer Money Mindedness programs, designed to help women increase their awareness of how to manage money and change their money-mindset.
I attended an event for International Women's Day hosted by PALO IT in the CBD early in March. “Achieving a Sustainable Financial Future for Women" was the topic and panellists shared some interesting thoughts and ideas to reach this important goal. One panellist mentioned that he’s encountered a spectrum of abuse, from subtle “jokes” about shopping habits, to full on controlling ATM cards and resources. He said we need to be diligent in our everyday dealings to call out behaviour like this when we encounter it, so that we can make an effective change in the world around us.
As a financial adviser, focused on clients’ understanding of how their money works, I have emphasised sound financial literacy in all my client relationships, but especially with my female clients. “Getting it” is crucial when implementing any financial plan – the confidence this gives my clients is immense and spills over into other areas of their lives, from work to relationships.
I believe that professionals such as financial advisers, accountants, mortgage brokers – anyone who has insights into how couples behave, their money-habits and how they treat each other – has a moral responsibility to be on the lookout for financial abuse. And to speak up when they encounter it. I have a trauma and counselling background, so my training and experience helps me identify and manage such situations, but you don’t need training to spot when something is ‘off’ and then to have the empathy and compassion to offer a lending hand.
That hand might just keep someone from drowning.
Where can you go for help?
Here’s some useful phone numbers if you or someone you know needs help:
NSW Domestic Violence Line – 1800 65 64 63 (24 hour / 7 days a week) – For information, advice and referral, crisis counselling and crisis accommodation
1800RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24 hour / 7 days a week) – A national Line sexual assault, domestic family violence counselling service
02-9819 6565 or 1800 424 017 – Rape Crisis Centre / Sexual Assault Line
1800 810 784 or 02 8745 6999 – Women’s Legal Services NSW – Domestic Violence Advocacy Service (DVAS)
Learn more about financial abuse and how to get help here on White Ribbon’s website.
There’s a range of options available to you, get them here on Government’s Money Smart website.
¹ ABS (2018) Census of Population and Housing: Estimating homelessness, 2016
² Australian Bureau of Statistics (2017), Personal safety, Australia, 2016, cat. no. 4906.0, Canberra: ABS, accessed at http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/mf/4906.0